


Bindings

by mcreyes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Coming Out, Established Relationship, First Time, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Trans Character, but its not explicit, its kenma, kuroo overreacts but he just loves kenma ok, the flashbacks are in italics i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 17:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6762475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcreyes/pseuds/mcreyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>If Kenma had something to say, Kuroo would wait for all of eternity for him to be ready. He always would.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Love is crazy like that, sometimes.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>Or: Kenma has a lot of dysphoria but someone loves him too much to let him suffer alone</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bindings

**Author's Note:**

> it's 2am and i was living off of pocky and drake until i could finish this (it's my first work here be gentle with me)

Kenma reaches down and grabs his boyfriend's wrists as his cool fingers start to brush against Kenma's stomach, underneath the large sweater that covers his small frame. He feels Kuroo stop moving, gentle touch frozen a millimeter above the pale skin of Kenma's body.

"Kenma, are you okay? If this isn't what you want we can-"

"No, it's okay," the smaller male mumbles. He doesn't let go of Kuroo, instead he moves and wraps his small fingers around the captain's larger ones. Kuroo squeezes gently. Kenma feels a sigh rising to the back of his throat, and he looks away, to the walls of Kuroo's dorm. Kuroo doesn't press Kenma to talk. The younger boy appreciates that. He always has.

* * *

_"Hey, Kenma, I know you don't like when I come in while you're changing but-" The second year froze at the entrance of the locker room._

_Ever since Kenma started his first year a few months ago, and Kuroo convinced him to continue volleyball, he only had one request: that he was always last to change, and always by himself. Kuroo agreed immediately without much pushing. If the look in his best friend's eyes were anything to go by, he knew that denying would be a mistake. He had assumed that it was the blonde's anxiety, making him afraid to be seen by others. But as he looked at the white thing covering Kenma's chest, all of his assumptions fell apart._

_Of course, one could assume that it was a tank top- but it only went to the bottom of his chest. Kuroo didn't understand, he felt a flurry of questions bubbling to the tip of his tongue, but he stopped. Kenma managed to pull his shirt over his head, but he stood there, and most people would assume that he was okay, from the way he stood completely still._

_Kuroo Tetsurou is not most people._

_His eyes flickered to his friend's slender fingers. When he saw the twitches, the slight shaking of the digits, he knew that he had stepped over a line that Kenma wasn't ready for Kuroo to know existed, yet alone be able to step over it._

_"Uh. Y-Yaku just wanted to ask if you wanted to have lunch with us today, but, it's okay! I'll tell him you're-"_

_"Kuro."_

* * *

"I want to do this," Kenma continues, blonde hair falling in front of his eyes. Kuroo frees one hand and pushes the locks back behind his ears, his hand lingering on Kenma's pale cheek for a moment before falling back into his hand.

Kuroo knows Kenma isn't finished yet. He waits.

Golden eyes flicker from their lap to Kuroo's face and back again. Kuroo knows he's scared. He squeezes his hand again. Kenma squeezes back. Such a small gesture, but to them, it's the world.

* * *

_"Y-yeah, Kenma?" He freezed, facing the doorway, back turned towards the smaller male. He didn't get an immediate response. He almost asked again, to make sure Kenma was still breathing, but he didn't. He bit his tongue and waited. If Kenma had something to say, he'd wait for all of eternity for him to be ready. He always would._

_Love is crazy like that, sometimes._

* * *

"Can I keep my sweater on?" The words barely come out, the sound hardly over a whisper. Kuroo doesn't respond immediately, which he regrets, as the small boy immediately starts to panic.

"I mean, that's weird, I'm sorry. I don't-"

"Kenma."

Kuroo catches Kenma's hands again, pulling them away from his face and towards his lips. He places two small kisses on the smooth skin. "If you want to, then that's what's going to happen. But could you tell me why?"

Kenma gulps. It's not like it's anything new. Kuroo has known him since the very beginning, since he first figured everything out. But it's different to him now. Because he loves him, in a completely different way.

* * *

_"Do you know what transgender means?"_

_Kuroo looked at his feet. He had heard the word before, brief mentions in the news, between classmates. But the definition had escaped him. He gulped._

_"No," He whispered, nervously running a hand through the wreck of black hair on top of his head. He was terrified, of saying the wrong thing, of scaring Kenma away. He was terrified of losing Kenma._

_"It means I'm a boy, but I was born with girl body parts."_

_Kuroo's whole body tensed. He remembered, for a brief second, hearing his parents mention something about a new law affecting transgender people. He remembered Kenma tensing every time someone said his hair made him look like a girl. It was like a wave washing over him, full of regret and sadness and anger. Anger at himself. Kenma had been struggling ever since they were children, and Kuroo had no idea. He was with Kenma, no matter what, but in that moment, as he stared at his best friend, the only person he loves, all he could think is how he had essentially left Kenma alone for all of this, just because he was too shallow to notice the obvious clues. Without thinking, the taller cat turned around and rammed his fist into the lockers by the door. He let out a strangled cry, falling to his knees._

* * *

"I don't really like my chest. I don't like seeing it. I don't want you to see it," Kenma whispers, looking off to the side. He feels himself shrinking inwards, falling into a pit of anxiety. Only he never reaches the bottom, because there are strong arms around him, carrying him back to the surface, teaching him to be okay again.

"Of course, baby." Kuroo reaches up and places a hand over Kenma's heart, causing his smaller boyfriend to blush an adorable shade of pink. "You can show me as much and as little as you want, whenever you're ready. But remember," he stops for a moment, to lean forward and kiss the spot that his hand covered a few seconds ago, "That I'm going to love and worship every part of you."

* * *

_His knuckles bled out, but all he could do is stare. He wanted to cry, to scream, to tell Kenma everything he'd kept inside for years. Kenma's coming out didn't change anything in the way Kuroo saw him- all it changed was how much more Kuroo hated himself. He could've been there, if he just would've listened, payed attention to the signs pointing that his best friend was struggling. All he could remember was kids teasing Kenma, calling him a girl, asking why he's not wearing a skirt. At the time, he'd laughed, and told his best friend that it wasn't his fault he looked girly._

_But oh, God, if Kuroo had known this back then, he would've been suspended for how smashed in those kids' teeth would've been._

_He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the gentle touch on his cheek, the soft voice whispering to him, not at first. But then he looked up, and oh man, Kenma was there, golden eyes shining with tears, and everything in his mind stopped. Kenma had always been there._ He always would be, _Kuroo thought,_ I can't blame myself. This isn't my issue- it's not an issue at all. _Realization ran over him like a train and he felt guilty all over again._

_"Kuro, please stop crying, please. I'm fine, I, I didn't mean for you to find out like this-"_

_"Kenma, I love you."_

_Kuroo wanted to take it back, but he couldn't. He realized that it sounded odd, coming from his mouth right after Kenma admitted his biggest secret. But he couldn't take it back now._

_Love is crazy like that sometimes._

* * *

Kenma smiles, a soft smile that wouldn't be noticeable by most people.

Kuroo Tetsurou is not most people.

Kuroo always notices Kenma. And he never plans on stopping.

"Okay." Kuroo pulls the small boy down on top of him, placing his lips on his. They fit together perfectly. They always have.

* * *

_"I love you too."_

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated  
> also hmu i have no friends


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